Lyrics
Sequel to #1 "Six Inches From Glory"
Intro spoken, phone notification ding, one clean guitar
Two years ago I parked a car perfectly on Main Street.
Worst Song Ever, number one. Nobody saw it.
...Turns out somebody's doorbell did.
Beat drops huge pop-punk drums and guitars
Verse 1
Mrs. Patel from Main Street sent a video at nine,
"Is this you outside my house, hon? Doorbell caught it fine."
Grainy green night-vision with a timestamp in the frame,
Six inches from the curb, and I finally had my fame!
Pre-Chorus
Posted it at midnight, woke up to nine million views,
Opened up the comments, and the top one had the news...
Stop silence
"AI."
Chorus gang vocals
It's not AI! (It's not AI!)
I really parked it, I was there that night!
It's not AI! (It's not AI!)
Count my fingers on the wheel, I got ten, alright?
Six inches from the curb and you're calling it fake,
It's the realest thing I ever did, for goodness' sake!
It's not AI!
Verse 2
A guy made a forty-minute breakdown on his vlog,
Said "The shadows don't line up, and why's the Buick in a fog?"
Then a fact-check page gave me four Pinocchios out of four,
And my mother sent a robot emoji... then she sent four more.
Pre-Chorus 2
So I drove back down to Main Street and I went live on my phone,
Parked it perfect, one try, six inches, all alone,
Two hundred thousand watching and the chat is moving fast...
Stop silence
"AI."
Chorus gang vocals
It's not AI! (It's not AI!)
I really parked it, I was there that night!
It's not AI! (It's not AI!)
Count my fingers on the wheel, I got ten, alright?
Six inches from the curb and you're calling it fake,
It's the realest thing I ever did, for goodness' sake!
It's not AI!
Bridge music drops to one muted guitar, spoken
I went to the DMV. I said, "I need somebody official to confirm this is real."
She said, "Sir, this is the vision test line."
Then I remembered. Somebody DID see me park it.
Tow truck backup beeps
Tow driver: "Yeah, I remember you. Straightest park I ever saw."
Me: "THANK YOU!"
Tow driver: "Still a hydrant, though."
Final Chorus key change, full choir, stadium crowd
IT'S NOT AI! (IT'S NOT AI!)
I got a ticket from the city, signed in pen!
IT'S NOT AI! (IT'S NOT AI!)
Sixty-five dollars says I did it, and I'd do it again!
Six inches from the curb, it's official, it's true,
And the only one who believed me was the city tow crew!
IT'S NOT AI!
Outro music cuts dead, one phone notification ding, spoken slowly
New comment on Worst Song Ever, number thirty-four...
"AI."