Lyrics
Intro spoken, deep echo voice, pipe organ and a ticking cowbell
October first. The gym on Main Street. Six a.m.
He's got a membership card.
He's got no skin.
Worst Song Ever, number thirty-three.
Beat drops distorted 808s, bone-rattle marimba
Verse 1
Six a.m., I'm clacking through the door
Front desk girl just fainted on the floor
Signed the form, a membership for one
I been skinny since sixteen fifty-one
Pre-Chorus
Down my throat (glug glug!)
Out my ribs (splash splash!)
Every scoop of vanilla hits the floor in a flash
Chorus gang vocals
I'm a skeleton on bulk! (Rattle rattle!)
Nothing on these bones but hope! (Rattle rattle!)
Ten thousand reps and I still weigh the same
I'm a skeleton on bulk and I got no gains!
Rattle rattle... no gains!
Verse 2
Leg day, my left femur rolled away
Bicep curls, my arm went home without me today
Trainer's on his knees in a pile of me
Going "Which one's the collarbone? Is that a knee?"
Pre-Chorus
Down my throat (glug glug!)
Out my ribs (splash splash!)
Chocolate this time, same puddle, same splash
Chorus gang vocals
I'm a skeleton on bulk! (Rattle rattle!)
Nothing on these bones but hope! (Rattle rattle!)
Ten thousand reps and I still weigh the same
I'm a skeleton on bulk and I got no gains!
Rattle rattle... no gains!
Verse 3 faster, horns and choir stabs
Posted my progress, zero to zero
Two million views, I'm the internet's hero
Brand deal calls, now I'm the face on the shelf
Of a protein shake I can't even drink myself
World Championship, oiled up, ready to pose
Hit a double bicep and my skull flew in row four
Crowd's going wild, the judges stand and shout
"Best Shredded Physique!" 'cause I'm down another pound
Bridge beat cuts out, lone church organ, spoken
Trainer: Kid. Sit down. I gotta tell you something.
Zipper sound
Trainer: Twelve years I've been coming to this gym.
Me: ...Coach. You're bones.
Trainer: Twelve years. All natural.
Final Chorus beat slams back, huge choir, key change
I'm a skeleton on bulk! (Rattle rattle!)
Nothing on these bones but hope! (Rattle rattle!)
Ten thousand reps and we still weigh the same
We're two skeletons on bulk and we got no gains!
Rattle rattle... no gains!
Outro spoken over cowbell
Same time tomorrow?
(Rattle rattle)
Worst Song Ever, number thirty-three.
Choir, one last hit
No gains!