Lyrics
A response to #12 "Sorry, Ricardo"
Intro spoken, low gravelly voice, desert wind, slow choir swell
Truck stop. El Paso. Pump number four.
I heard a song about me.
I wasn't in it.
Beat drops huge 808s and orchestral hits
Verse 1
I been standing by the diesel since two thousand and nine,
Same spot, same pose, same sun, same spine.
Then a minivan pulls up and a man starts to weep,
On his knees in the gravel, apologizing to Steve.
I'm across the interstate! I can see the whole show!
Every "Sorry, Ricardo," and I'm right here, bro!
Seven pebbles? Seven pebbles? To a cactus? In the sand?
That's like handing the ocean a cup. Understand?
Pre-Chorus
Number twelve had my name in the title,
My name in the hook, and I wasn't even in it!
Three days on your knees and not one minute
For the real one... hold up. Wait a minute.
Chorus gang vocals and choir
Where's MY sorry? (Where's my sorry?)
Three days for Steve and zero for me!
Where's MY sorry? (Where's my sorry?)
The real Ricardo, right across the street!
I'm still here, I'm still tall, I'm still green, I'm still mad!
That's the worst apology I never had!
Verse 2
And you said I looked disappointed "since approximately six."
Six what? Six o'clock? Six Tuesdays? Pick!
That ain't disappointment, that's just my face, okay?
Resting cactus face, I look like this every day.
Leaned two inches to the left? Man, that's wind. That's the West.
Now Steve's got a fan page, Steve's on a shirt, Steve's blessed.
Steve started a podcast! Steve can't even speak!
It's an hour of wind and it's number one this week!
Pre-Chorus 2
Got a tumbleweed hype man, got a buzzard on the beat,
Got a whole desert choir and they're standing with me!
Chorus gang vocals and choir
Where's MY sorry? (Where's my sorry?)
Three days for Steve and zero for me!
Where's MY sorry? (Where's my sorry?)
The real Ricardo, right across the street!
I'm still here, I'm still tall, I'm still green, I'm still mad!
That's the worst apology I never had!
Bridge beat drops out, solo piano and strings, sincere and sung
Do you know what it's like to be a cactus with a name?
Fifteen years of semi-trucks, and nobody ever came.
I was never even mad at you. I just wanted to be seen.
A man said sorry to a plant once...
And the plant wasn't me.
Spoken a small, shaky new voice off to the side
Um... hi. I'm Kevin.
Nobody apologized to me either.
Spoken gravelly voice, shocked
Kevin's REAL?
Final Chorus key change, massive choir of every cactus in the desert
Where's OUR sorry? (Where's our sorry?)
Three days for Steve and zero for the crew!
Where's OUR sorry? (Where's our sorry?)
Four thousand cactuses are coming for you!
Worst Song Ever, number thirty-two!
Every plant in the desert wants a word with you!
Outro music cuts, desert wind
Nervous man, far away
...Sorry?
Gravelly voice
...Accepted.
A deep, slow voice nobody has heard before
Hey. I'm Steve.
Gravelly voice
STEVE CAN TALK?!