Lyrics
Intro spoken, smooth late-night disco DJ voice over hi-hats and a bubbling bassline
This one goes out to the fella on Fourth Street.
Hand in the air.
Nobody home.
Worst Song Ever, number thirty-one.
Verse 1
Tuesday morning, coffee in my hand
Feeling like a fairly well-liked man
Across the street a stranger starts to smile
She lifts her arm and waves it big and wide
Pre-Chorus
So I wave back (wave back!)
Big and proud (so proud!)
Then I hear a "Hey, Diane!" behind me, loud
Chorus
She wasn't waving at me! (Not at me!)
My hand's already up for all to see
She wasn't waving at me! (Not at me!)
Now I gotta make this arm look like it's meant to be
She wasn't waving at me!
Verse 2
So I turn it to a stretch, and then a yawn
Then I'm hailing down a taxi I don't want
The taxi stops, so now I have to ride
"Where to?" "The airport, I guess," I replied
Pre-Chorus
Hand still up (still up!)
Row sixteen (sixteen!)
"Is there a doctor on the plane?" They're all looking at me
Chorus
She wasn't waving at me! (Not at me!)
My hand's already up for all to see
She wasn't waving at me! (Not at me!)
Now I gotta make this arm look like it's meant to be
She wasn't waving at me!
Verse 3 faster, horns stabbing
I delivered a baby somewhere over Spain
They named him after me, I never gave my name
At an auction in Lisbon I bought a lighthouse and a horse
Then got sworn into the navy 'cause my hand was up, of course
Bridge music drops, sincere strings, spoken
Ten years I've kept this arm in the air.
I am an admiral now. I own a horse.
And today, across the harbor... a woman waves.
Sung, hopeful, building
Could it be? Is it finally for me?
Spoken, a man's voice from behind
Hey, Diane!
Final Chorus key change up, full disco choir
She wasn't waving at me! (Not at me!)
Ten years with my hand up by the sea
She wasn't waving at me! (Not at me!)
Diane, I've never met you and you've taken everything
She wasn't waving at me!
Outro music cuts out, harbor seagulls, spoken
Sir? I was waving at you.
Oh. I'm not waving back.
It's just stuck like this.