Lyrics
Cold Open vocoder, a cappella
It's ten to the hour.
Time to stand.
Verse 1
I was deep in the couch on a Saturday night
Half a bag of pretzels and the game on right
Then a little buzz tickled the bone of my wrist
And a tiny green circle said, "You've got this"
Well, I didn't have this, I was horizontal, man
But the bezel lit up with a motivational plan
So I rose like a phoenix from the cushion's embrace
Took one little step, and it lit up my face
Chorus
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
Get up, get up, you beautiful man
Ten to the hour, it's part of the plan
My wrist believes in me more than my mother can
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
Verse 2
Now I stand at the dentist with my mouth open wide
I stand through the movie with the usher at my side
I stood up in a kayak, and the kayak said no
I stood on a Ferris wheel, the carny said, "Whoa"
I stood at a funeral right during the prayer
And Grandma's whole row turned around with a stare
I whispered, "Forgive me, I'm not in command
My wrist has a dream, and the dream is to stand"
Chorus
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
Get up, get up, you beautiful man
Ten to the hour, it's part of the plan
My wrist believes in me more than my mother can
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
Verse 3 the watch sings, vocoder
Congratulations, Gary. You stood. Well done.
I have raised your goals. Here is tomorrow's run:
Mailbox by breakfast, Nebraska by three
Sunday is Everest. Bring snacks. Love, me.
Bridge disco breakdown, half-time
Twenty-nine thousand feet in the thin blue air
Pemba said, "Gary, just sit. Nothing's up there."
So I lowered myself to the ice and the snow
And for the first time in a year, I let myself go
(silence)
(one tiny buzz)
Final Chorus full disco strings, double time
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
On top of the world like a beautiful man
Frost on my eyebrows, a pretzel in hand
My wrist believes in me more than my mother can
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
Time to stand! (buzz buzz)
Outro vocoder
Now playing: Worst Song Ever number twenty-one.
Please stand.
Low battery. Time to s-
(hard cut, one couch-cushion sigh)